Need to Breathe

While i love the band by whom the title of this post was inspired, this is not about them.
This is about me.  Today was the first day back to school after spring break.  Now break was not restfull for our family.  It was good not to have a "schedule" b/c you know I am soooo schedule oriented.  But i liked not worrying about Cali not getting enough nap if she goes down after 1 and then we have to be at school at 3 for pick up.  Today went pretty well, other than Cassie forgetting her lunch & Ben crying at school b/c i would not let him play outside when the temp on March 28th was 27 degrees!  Cali is slowly getting better from her ear infection, caused by 2 year molar #3 coming in.  She is still feverish at times but when the advil is working she is just fine.  When it wears off, however, we are all in deep trouble. 
The really chaos started at a little before 5 when I had to go pick-up Cassie from school.  On mondays she stays late for guitar lessons. . . (that is another post all together) and once all 5 of us were under the same roof, it was not pretty.  Kids are hungry, tired, crabby, everyone wants to help make dinner, & no one is obeying.  It felt pretty stressful around here till just a short while ago when I put Cali & Ben in bed.  I think they are sleeping now.  Cass is upstairs. . . I told her lights out sometime ago but I still hear movement coming from above.  I am tired.  I need to breathe. . . alone.  I need to sleep. . . alone.  I need to think. . . alone.  I'm not wishing the years away, I am not.  I am just trying to find a few moments of solitude in a day.  Trying to use the bathroom without someone knocking or coming in.  I love my kids dearly.  I love them to pieces.  They just test my wits & resolve & patience & sanity & breath everyday.  So now that it is quiet, I am going to go plan for tomorrow.  I am going to open my book and read.  Tonight the book wins over the tv.  I can't wait to find out what happens next.