School's out for 1. Two more 1/2 days for the other one.
Summer has begun.
I love the lack of schedule.
Love not having to herd everyone out the door in a mad dash to not be tardy.
I don't love everybody being together all the time
I am am not that Mom.
I am not the Mom that loves playing endless games.
I hate messes.
I hate chalk, bubbles, mud, sand, and other things that make more work.
I like my kids to entertain themselves.
It boggles me that they can't just play with their toys
I was an only child until age 8 but by then the age difference was too great to gain a playmate.
I played by myself for hours, days at a time continuing the same imagination game.
I loved playing with all the paper & notebook, & pens & makers my Dad brought home from work.
All of them had KLM printed on them :-)
I will do fun stuff with their kids but I am not the entertainment committee.
The daily stuff does not stop.
We have a few camp things set up. A week at the beach.
A few day trips maybe. Nana & Pop's pool will be a frequent stop.
Making paper is on our list for the summer.
Also fruit picking of many varieties.
They'll play in the backyard a lot.
It will be fun but I hope my kids realize they have to make some of their own fun.
I cannot be responsible to make it happen. Let you imagination go wild
Saturday, June 22, 2013
Friday, May 17, 2013
Wait May is 1/2 over already???
Not sure where time goes.
May has been filled with a wedding, track meets both near & far, birthdays, mother's day, lilacs,
flowers, music, beautiful weather & rainy days.
I've taken a ton of photos of various things including my children. (not all 3 wanted to participate).
I've worked in the garden, I've worked on trying to find motivation for a lot of things.
I have a cat who acts more like a dog and follows me around looking for pets.
May has been filled with a wedding, track meets both near & far, birthdays, mother's day, lilacs,
flowers, music, beautiful weather & rainy days.
I've taken a ton of photos of various things including my children. (not all 3 wanted to participate).
I've worked in the garden, I've worked on trying to find motivation for a lot of things.
I have a cat who acts more like a dog and follows me around looking for pets.
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Things to Remember ~ the good stuff
Ben in conversation with his Daddy ~
The Easter Bunny, Santa & The Tooth Fairy must be nocturnal because they only come out at night.
And Santa must be magical because either he makes himself skinny to go down the chimney or he makes the chimney fat so he can fit down it.
Cali ~
Mommy can you please move the sun....pause...actually Mommy can you please close the shade.
The Easter Bunny, Santa & The Tooth Fairy must be nocturnal because they only come out at night.
And Santa must be magical because either he makes himself skinny to go down the chimney or he makes the chimney fat so he can fit down it.
Cali ~
Mommy can you please move the sun....pause...actually Mommy can you please close the shade.
Challenged
I am feeling most challenged and overwhelmed by motherhood this morning.
I am tired of repeating myself over and over and over again.
I am tired to listening to them fight among themselves.
I am tired to endless requests.
I am tired of not being able to complete a task without interruption.
I am sick of complaints about everything....its never enough or fair enough.
Nothing is ever "right." And I am just fed-up.
Even as I take a few minutes to gather my thoughts I am interrupted with a request.
And when I say I will do it in just a few moments I am being battered with the same request over and over. I am trying to find peace in all this. I know there is so much out there that is much more and much worse that what I am struggling with. But I am in my world, with my realities, and boy it is tough for me right now. My kids issues is just one of the things that I am trying to understand/process/deal with/accept. Just looking for peace.
I am tired of repeating myself over and over and over again.
I am tired to listening to them fight among themselves.
I am tired to endless requests.
I am tired of not being able to complete a task without interruption.
I am sick of complaints about everything....its never enough or fair enough.
Nothing is ever "right." And I am just fed-up.
Even as I take a few minutes to gather my thoughts I am interrupted with a request.
And when I say I will do it in just a few moments I am being battered with the same request over and over. I am trying to find peace in all this. I know there is so much out there that is much more and much worse that what I am struggling with. But I am in my world, with my realities, and boy it is tough for me right now. My kids issues is just one of the things that I am trying to understand/process/deal with/accept. Just looking for peace.
Sunday, January 20, 2013
2013
2012 has come to an end.
I am thinking about the year ahead.
What would I like to see happen, cares, concerns, plans, ideas, relationships, my mind is filled with
a to do list. Stuff I'd like to do. Personal Goals.
As I reflect about 2013 I don't want to set any unrealistic goals but have a few things in mind.
I am not good at daily scheduling for myself and sometimes have major time management issues.
I love lists.
I am trying to menu plan 2 weeks at a time in order to spend less time planning meals & to plan for better use of leftovers.
I want to catch up on all my "digital" photo books.
Make progress on my scrapbooks from years past.
A weekend away with my husband would not be unwelcome.
I want to be better about Bible reading & devotions. I want to pray more.
I want to be have more patience.
I want to cook more especially for other people.
I want to take better care of myself ~ have some ideas of what that entails but how that is all going to happen I am not sure.
I want to support my friends as they plan to adopt a little girl from Africa ~ road trip???
I am thinking about the year ahead.
What would I like to see happen, cares, concerns, plans, ideas, relationships, my mind is filled with
a to do list. Stuff I'd like to do. Personal Goals.
As I reflect about 2013 I don't want to set any unrealistic goals but have a few things in mind.
I am not good at daily scheduling for myself and sometimes have major time management issues.
I love lists.
I am trying to menu plan 2 weeks at a time in order to spend less time planning meals & to plan for better use of leftovers.
I want to catch up on all my "digital" photo books.
Make progress on my scrapbooks from years past.
A weekend away with my husband would not be unwelcome.
I want to be better about Bible reading & devotions. I want to pray more.
I want to be have more patience.
I want to cook more especially for other people.
I want to take better care of myself ~ have some ideas of what that entails but how that is all going to happen I am not sure.
I want to support my friends as they plan to adopt a little girl from Africa ~ road trip???
Monday, December 17, 2012
JOY
I am still feeling a little bit numb from the events of this past Friday.
In a town only about an hour from here 20 kids were senselessly murdered.
It hit home in an incredibly powerful way for my husband and I.
We spent so much of Friday afternoon & evening crying and just starring at each other.
We hugged our kids extra. We kissed them. Even if they didn't want us to.
There was a pain in my chest that i have not felt since I had to hand Cali over to the OR staff on 2/11/2009. It was the only way I could describe what I was feeling to my husband.
We very purposefully kept the tv off and just read the news online. We had no strenght for the images. I don't want to sound like I am making this about me. But in sharing what I felt/feel serves a purpose. If I am feeling this low about it all, how must those poor people in Newton feel. It is overwhelming to me to think about them.
Just 2 days later it would be the third Sunday of Advent and we would be focusing on Joy. JOY?!?!? How do you talk and celebrate Joy when we have just witness this heinous crime? How do you smile and think about all the good stuff when the pain for so many is so real and vivid and so much more intense and permanent than mine? The kicker in all this is that I had to present the children's sermon at church. JOY. What?!?! I had a few things planned ~ talking a bit about things that don't bring people Joy. (Traffic at the mall, burned cookies, and other simple things for little ones to relate too.) But the reality became there was no way I could get up in front of church and talk about all the little things that take away from the Joy of Christmas and then just say look for Joy in everything. I talked about it with my husband and with my dear friends. I jotted down a few notes. I am a crier. I shed tears at the drop of a hat and less! How do I do this? God help me. I can say that God truly spoke through me at church Sunday morning. I can also say I really felt the Spirit guiding my words.
As a preface I said something about it being hard to find Joy when we just want to be sad. I started my message with talking about things that make us happy and how happy is different from Joy. Things that make me happy ~ sending Christmas cards & cooking for people.
Things that bring JOY!
1. A Snow day
2. Presents on Christmas Morning
3. Cassie going to One Direction world
4. Ben's eyes when he pranks someone
5. A bride & groom who see each other for the first time
6. Dr. Marans telling us he would see Cali in 2 years.
Just a few things I thought about. A short list.
I also told the kids that I believe we feel this Joy way deep down inside of us in the depths of our heart because that's where Jesus is. He is in our hearts and He is the source of our Joy. I challenged these kids to find Joy in times of sadness. So I cried and made a few other people cry along the way but you know what there was Joy in sharing with people I love!
In a town only about an hour from here 20 kids were senselessly murdered.
It hit home in an incredibly powerful way for my husband and I.
We spent so much of Friday afternoon & evening crying and just starring at each other.
We hugged our kids extra. We kissed them. Even if they didn't want us to.
There was a pain in my chest that i have not felt since I had to hand Cali over to the OR staff on 2/11/2009. It was the only way I could describe what I was feeling to my husband.
We very purposefully kept the tv off and just read the news online. We had no strenght for the images. I don't want to sound like I am making this about me. But in sharing what I felt/feel serves a purpose. If I am feeling this low about it all, how must those poor people in Newton feel. It is overwhelming to me to think about them.
Just 2 days later it would be the third Sunday of Advent and we would be focusing on Joy. JOY?!?!? How do you talk and celebrate Joy when we have just witness this heinous crime? How do you smile and think about all the good stuff when the pain for so many is so real and vivid and so much more intense and permanent than mine? The kicker in all this is that I had to present the children's sermon at church. JOY. What?!?! I had a few things planned ~ talking a bit about things that don't bring people Joy. (Traffic at the mall, burned cookies, and other simple things for little ones to relate too.) But the reality became there was no way I could get up in front of church and talk about all the little things that take away from the Joy of Christmas and then just say look for Joy in everything. I talked about it with my husband and with my dear friends. I jotted down a few notes. I am a crier. I shed tears at the drop of a hat and less! How do I do this? God help me. I can say that God truly spoke through me at church Sunday morning. I can also say I really felt the Spirit guiding my words.
As a preface I said something about it being hard to find Joy when we just want to be sad. I started my message with talking about things that make us happy and how happy is different from Joy. Things that make me happy ~ sending Christmas cards & cooking for people.
Things that bring JOY!
1. A Snow day
2. Presents on Christmas Morning
3. Cassie going to One Direction world
4. Ben's eyes when he pranks someone
5. A bride & groom who see each other for the first time
6. Dr. Marans telling us he would see Cali in 2 years.
Just a few things I thought about. A short list.
I also told the kids that I believe we feel this Joy way deep down inside of us in the depths of our heart because that's where Jesus is. He is in our hearts and He is the source of our Joy. I challenged these kids to find Joy in times of sadness. So I cried and made a few other people cry along the way but you know what there was Joy in sharing with people I love!
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