As I have said before.....blogging is not easy. Here is a little something I wanted to do on the last day of school for Ben. I asked him questions but never came here to post. So here it is.
A little bit about Ben (June 25, 2014)
This is so mommy can hold on to her little boy a bit longer

A list of favorites.
 fruit~ cherries
Video game - Lego movie
Movie - the Lego movie
Best friend - Andrew
Tv show -marvel
Food -meat
Teacher - Ms. By as
Color -black
Out to eat- Raymond's
Toy - Lego
Song - don't stop by 5 SOS
book - the chocolate touch, where the sidewalk ends, Harry potter
Sport - volleyball
Vacation - Disneyworld, great wolf, Hershey park
Princess - Elsa & Ana

Looking ahead at 2014

January ~ Happy Birthday Day Cali, Cooking with Youth Group
February ~ A visit from the Coughlins, Ben winter break, Heart of Hope Dinner
March ~ Retreat, Girls Spring Break,
April ~ Easter, Ben Spring Break, Theme Day @ Coolidge
May ~ Happy Birthday Timmy, Memorial Day Weekend with the Coughlins???
June ~ Happy Birthday Cella ~ End of School
July ~ Happy Birthday Cassie ~ vacation???
August ~ summer fun
September ~ Cali starts Kindergarten,
October ~ visit from Natasha?
November ~ Disney World, Happy Birthday Ben on Thanksgiving
December ~ Christmas

Exercise is good for me (Or so I have been told)

There is a place near by called Next Generation Training Center.
They were on groupon a few times.
$79 for 20 semi personal training sessions.
One day on a bit of a whim I decided to buy it.
Why you may ask?  Its time to get moving.  I am older now and well
the reality is I need to exercise for the future.
But really ~ after going for my first session yesterday where the trainer let me take it easy,
this morning I can hardly move around.  bending at the hips or knees is painful.  I am waiting
with great anticipation for the Advil to kick in!!!!
I will go back for the other 19 sessions because well, I paid for them.  I am a frugal Dutchie after all.
But my productivity level is way down already this morning.  Loading the dishwasher was an exercise in caution.  Everything is taking twice as long.  Just want to crawl back in bed.

A Little Peek

Outside my window: my patio ~ empty right now but soon to be filled with laundry I need to dry

I am thankful:  That one of my bff's had a healthy baby boy this past week and also that it didn't rain the whole day.

On my computer: various websites are open

In the kitchen: a pile of clean dishes, chick peas for making hummus, blender waiting for me to make a smoothie in it, chili on the stove for dinner.  Last night's leftovers waiting to become my lunch

 I am wearing: jeans, long sleeve t-shirt, & flip flops

I am creating: Lots of projects are in my head.  Need to find time to execute!

 I am going: to and from 3 different schools all year long.  :-)

 I am trying: to have more patience, be careful with my words, to figure out where exercise fits into my life

 I am watching:  Breaking Bad, Dexter, Top Chef Masters

 I am hoping: to we all stay healthy this fall

I am praying: my brother who broke his leg yesterday and for my church as we have some huge mountains to climb 

I am looking forward to: Meeting my bff's new baby boy.  The weekend (probably bad since its only Monday),

 A favorite quote for today: 

 A few plans for the rest of the week: school meetings, back-to-school night, cross country meet, girls night with my bible study group

Sea To Sea Day 3....

Our day three that is.
Dropped Timmy at the airport on Saturday morning bright & early.
He's out for his first ride today.
I am very excited for him
Not so much for myself.
I am home, tired, with three kids who with only 1 parent to make demands of are asking a lot.
I am doing ok but i need sleep.
Partly my own fault for staying up late part from a draining week of Summer Playground.
After the closing program I was so tired!  It is a very stressful morning hoping that all goes well.
I miss my baby ~ I really wish he was here but I know how very much and how badly he wants to be part of this.  I pray for safety each day ~ I know time will fly with keeping up the house & kids alone.  We are going to have fun!  I miss my love!

Happy Summer! ~ a note to my kids

School's out for 1.  Two more 1/2 days for the other one.
Summer has begun.
I love the lack of schedule.
Love not having to herd everyone out the door in a mad dash to not be tardy.
I don't love everybody being together all the time
I am am not that Mom.
I am not the Mom that loves playing endless games.
I hate messes.
I hate chalk, bubbles, mud, sand, and other things that make more work.
I like my kids to entertain themselves.
It boggles me that they can't just play with their toys
I was an only child until age 8 but by then the age difference was too great to gain a playmate.
I played by myself for hours, days at a time continuing the same imagination game.
I loved playing with all the paper & notebook, & pens & makers my Dad brought home from work.
All of them had KLM printed on them  :-)
I will do fun stuff with their kids but I am not the entertainment committee.
The daily stuff does not stop.
We have a few camp things set up.  A week at the beach.
A few day trips maybe.  Nana & Pop's pool will be a frequent stop.
Making paper is on our list for the summer.
Also fruit picking of many varieties.
They'll play in the backyard a lot.
It will be fun but I hope my kids realize they have to make some of their own fun.
I cannot be responsible to make it happen.  Let you imagination go wild

Wait May is 1/2 over already???

Not sure where time goes.
May has been filled with a wedding, track meets both near & far, birthdays, mother's day, lilacs,
flowers, music, beautiful weather & rainy days.
I've taken a ton of photos of various things including my children.  (not all 3 wanted to participate).
I've worked in the garden, I've worked on trying to find motivation for a lot of things.
I have a cat who acts more like a dog and follows me around looking for pets.

Things to Remember ~ the good stuff

Ben in conversation with his Daddy ~
The Easter Bunny, Santa & The Tooth Fairy must be nocturnal because they only come out at night.
And Santa must be magical because either he makes himself skinny to go down the chimney or he makes the chimney fat so he can fit down it.

Cali ~
Mommy can you please move the sun....pause...actually Mommy can you please close the shade.

Challenged

I am feeling most challenged and overwhelmed by motherhood this morning.
I am tired of repeating myself over and over and over again.
I am tired to listening to them fight among themselves.
I am tired to endless requests.
I am tired of not being able to complete a task without interruption.
I am sick of complaints about everything....its never enough or fair enough.
Nothing is ever "right."  And I am just fed-up.
Even as I take a few minutes to gather my thoughts I am interrupted with a request.
And when I say I will do it in just a few moments I am being battered with the same request over and over.  I am trying to find peace in all this.  I know there is so much out there that is much more and much worse that what I am struggling with.  But I am in my world, with my realities, and boy it is tough for me right now.  My kids issues is just one of the things that I am trying to understand/process/deal with/accept.  Just looking for peace.

2013

2012 has come to an end.
I am thinking about the year ahead.
What would I like to see happen, cares, concerns, plans, ideas, relationships, my mind is filled with
a to do list.  Stuff I'd like to do.  Personal Goals.
As I reflect about 2013 I don't want to set any unrealistic goals but have a few things in mind.
I am not good at daily scheduling for myself and sometimes have major time management issues.
I love lists.
I am trying to menu plan 2 weeks at a time in order to spend less time planning meals & to plan for better use of leftovers.
I want to catch up on all my "digital" photo books.
Make progress on my scrapbooks from years past.
A weekend away with my husband would not be unwelcome.
I want to be better about Bible reading & devotions.  I want to pray more.
I want to be have more patience.
I want to cook more especially for other people.
I want to take better care of myself ~ have some ideas of what that entails but how that is all going to happen I am not sure.
I want to support my friends as they plan to adopt a little girl from Africa ~ road trip???

Pinkalicious

Happy Birthday Calista Eden ~ a Pinkalicous birthday party for my pint-sized princess

JOY

I am still feeling a little bit numb from the events of this past Friday.
In a town only about an hour from here 20 kids were senselessly murdered.
It hit home in an incredibly powerful way for my husband and I.
We spent so much of Friday afternoon & evening crying and just starring at each other.
We hugged our kids extra.  We kissed them.  Even if they didn't want us to.
There was a pain in my chest that i have not felt since I had to hand Cali over to the OR staff on 2/11/2009.  It was the only way I could describe what I was feeling to my husband.
We very purposefully kept the tv off and just read the news online.  We had no strenght for the images.  I don't want to sound like I am making this about me.  But in sharing what I felt/feel serves a purpose.  If I am feeling this low about it all, how must those poor people in Newton feel.  It is overwhelming to me to think about them.
Just 2 days later it would be the third Sunday of Advent and we would be focusing on Joy.  JOY?!?!?  How do you talk and celebrate Joy when we have just witness this heinous crime?  How do you smile and think about all the good stuff when the pain for so many is so real and vivid and so much more intense and permanent than mine?  The kicker in all this is that I had to present the children's sermon at church.  JOY.  What?!?!  I had a few things planned ~ talking a bit about things that don't bring people Joy.  (Traffic at the mall, burned cookies, and other simple things for little ones to relate too.)  But the reality became there was no way I could get up in front of church and talk about all the little things that take away from the Joy of Christmas and then just say look for Joy in everything.  I talked about it with my husband and with my dear friends.  I jotted down a few notes.  I am a crier.  I shed tears at the drop of a hat and less!  How do I do this?  God help me.  I can say that God truly spoke through me at church Sunday morning.  I can also say I really felt the Spirit guiding my words.
As a preface I said something about it being hard to find Joy when we just want to be sad.  I started  my message with talking about things that make us happy and how happy is different from Joy.  Things that make me happy ~ sending Christmas cards & cooking for people.
Things that bring JOY!
1. A Snow day
2. Presents on Christmas Morning
3. Cassie going to One Direction world
4. Ben's eyes when he pranks someone
5. A bride & groom who see each other for the first time
6. Dr. Marans telling us he would see Cali in 2 years.

Just a few things I thought about.  A short list.
I also told the kids that I believe we feel this Joy way deep down inside of us in the depths of our heart because that's where Jesus is.  He is in our hearts and He is the source of our Joy.  I challenged these kids to find Joy in times of sadness.  So I cried and made a few other people cry along the way but you know what there was Joy in sharing with people I love!

Thanksgiving is when??!??!

Having no power for 8 days was a challenge
A challenge we survived and came away from very Thankful for all the goodness God had shown us during very trying times.
However once the power came back on we were exhausted.  8 days of planning, timing everything as best we could, 8 days of trying to not to make a mess.  Two nights after the power came back on I slept for close to 11 hours!  I am so grateful to have power back on and that life is sort of back to normal.  Yet there is a lingering twinge of disarray left in the air.  Those 2 weeks of not normal are going to have lasting impact.  It threw everything off.  We have seen pictures of our beloved Ocean Grove, NJ ~ while the damage there was minimal compared to other shore towns there was definate losses that are evident. So just how does this all relate to Thanksgiving?  I promise there is a link.  See "loosing" two weeks to Sandy has made everything happen sooner than I realized it would.  And with Thanksgiving being very early this year it just snuck up on us.  I am not ready for all this.  I feel so behind in my Christmas shopping.  I didn't spend hours looking for fun new recipes to make.  I am trying to be organized about it all but it is just not working.  Christmas cards are almost finalized!   But my brain feels scattered.  Ben's birthday is also right around the corner and after his b-day the Christmas celebrations begin!  One day at a time.  I am trying to enjoy the moments I can and to keep it simple.  I don't always do simple well.  I like a big splash!  For now I will do somethings I love, (going out to eat with friends, seeing a movie w. my hubby, making Thanksgiving Baskets with youth group) and somethings I don't ~ washing dishes, dusting, cleaning up after 3 kids and trying to decide what to give as Christmas gifts this year).

And Just How Did It Get to Be November 7th

YIKES!!!! October came and went with a blur.
Hurricane Sandy certainly played a big part in making the transition from October and November very complicated.  A week off of school for both kids in school.  An extra 2 days off for Ben since the power outages in Wyckoff were/are so bad.
To top it all off I am typing as it is snowing outside.  Did I mention that there was 2.0 earthquake the other day only about 15 miles from here????
So to summarize October I'll make an outline....no pictures this time, they are still on my camera.
October 3:  MOPS, Cross Country, GEMS
October 7:  Youth Group & Amplified
October 9:  Cross Country
10th:  New Hope
11th:  Cross Country....leave for Pittsburgh
In Pittsburgh ~ go to the playground, celebrate Cora's Birthday, Wii Just Dance, Fall Festival
14th:  Return from Pittsburgh
16th:  Cross Country, pick up Cliff from airport, Steel Magnolias
17th:  MOPS, GEMS
20th:  Wyckoff 5k, Corn Maze
21st:  Youth Group & Amplified
22nd:  Sierra Hull Concert
25nd:  Harvest Festivals
26th:  Foodie Club Thailand Night!!!  Delicious & Fun!
27th:  Trunk or Treat, Halloween Party @ Denekamps
28th:  Family Pictures and Dinner with the Wilsons
29th:  Hurricane Sandy arrive
30th:  no school
31th:  no school

And There goes September...

Besides the normal 1st day of school stuff that happens in September ~ as seen by the previous post ~ we had an extra few adventures.

We went to San Diego for a wedding.  All five of us got on a plane to fly across the country to what we thought would be amazing Southern California weather.  Not so.  It was a heatwave...highs of 104, 106...the highest temperatures they have seen in 15 - 20 years!!!  yikes...it was HOT!!!
The wedding was beautiful and we enjoyed every moment we spent in Cali.  Our kids were very well behaved pretty much everywhere we went.  I giggled a few times because I was taking my Cali to Cali LOL  :-)  We went to the beach, the zoo, tried surfing, ate fish tacos & enjoyed In & Out Burgers.  It was a quick trip but we had so much fun...just don't ask why I slept in 4 different beds in 4 days.

We also went to Hershey Park with our dearest friends the Millers.  We had such a fun time and once again we closed down the park.

Cassie joined the Cross Country Team so we've been to a few meets at Goffle Brook Park.

I hosted my friends from Steel Magnolias for a party of the patio...we had so much fun then too.

Foodie Club continues to be such a great time.  I laugh so hard when I am with these ladies.  Italian Night was a success but I am tickled pink to have talked them into an Asian night....Thailand here we come!!!!!!!!!!!

Ben is having a great year so far at Coolidge.  I am class mom and have gotten involved there with a few things.  Cassie is doing good in 6th grade too.  I signed up to be her class mom too.

October is a week old already and has proven to be exciting as well.  Never enough time though.  Still never enough time to everything.

1st day of Kindergarten

First Day of 6th Grade

Peach Picking (a few apples & tomatoes too)

going for just pictures tonight....

And 2 Months Later a recap

Hello Summer where did you go???  I think 10 weeks of vacation is a LONG time...especially with kids.  But yikes this summer FLEW by at a speed unknown before to me.  What made this summer so different???  Camps??  Life??? Three active, crazy, demanding, busy kids???  Church?? I don't know but in this last week before school starts I am trying to fit stuff in.  I am going to miss my Ben so much.  He is off to Kindergarten for 3 full days and 2 days till 1pm.  I'll be able to get stuff done a little easier but boy it's going to be an adjustment getting not having him with me that much.  I cried when I put Cassie on the school bus for Kindergarten....she was so excited.  She could not wait for that yellow bus to drive up our street to pick her up.  This year as I take Ben to school, there will be no yellow bus.  One of the hardest decisions of my life has been made in the past 6 months.  The choice to send Ben to public school here in Wyckoff and to ECES.  It has been an agonizing, long-drawn out, gut-wrenching process.  I'm sure there will tears for me....Ben is super excited and has the best outlook on life.  He is so compassionate and caring.  He has a heart like Jesus most of the time.
So this week we'll go to the movies, have lunches out, play with friends, and try to squeeze as much of summer as possible.  We'll eat ice cream and go to the beach.
Ice cream for lunch today???  I think it is a plan.

So in review of my summer goals...
1. sewing - - no progress
2. hosting- -  about 50% some weeks none, some weeks multiple
3. 1x of scrapbooking
4. Not always once a week to the pool but lots of weeks with multiple trips...also kids swimming with just Nana & Pop a few times
5. 4 day trips to the beach, hopefully peaches this week & fried green tomatoes.
6. I think 2x we have used our free tickets, including tonight.
We saw Brave (not free ~but at the "fancy" theater for $36 for all 5 of us), ParaNorman ($10 for 4 people), Timmy & Ben saw the Spiderman movie, We also saw Ice Age had planned for it to be 2 free tickets but i had managed to lose my card.  Now I have a new one.
7...Dates... we went out to dinner together in Ocean Grove.  It was awesome.  Tonight we head out to see our free movie...The Bourne Legacy.  We'll have a drink or dessert before hand.

Summer Goals

The first day of summer has officially passed.  It is here.  And right now it is hot!  And my kids are not getting along.  Even in the pool they fight.  It is not fun.  We (I) however, do have some plans for the summer.  I have decided I need help.  Both Cassie & Ben will each spend 2 weeks at a camp.  I picked weeks that do not overlap on purpose so that gives me more time with just 2 kids.  The fighting & bickering & annoying is out of control and we are only a week in.  I am trying to make fun stuff happen but with the age range and the need to still wash clothes, clean the dishes and the like it has been tough.  But I do have a short list of things I want to accomplish just for me!

1.  Learn how to sew.
2.  Have someone over at least once a week...a family from church...a play date for one of my kids....family...I enjoy hosting & such.  So far we seem right on track with this one!
3.  scrapbook!  i want to make progress in my books.
4.  swim once a week, if weather allows.
5.  Day trips to the beach or fruit picking or maybe a museum (ha ha ha)
6.  use our free movie tickets on Tuesday night!
7.  Find time for date with my hubby....i know we just went to Mexico but we need to keep making time for us!